The Past is Not the Future
by blair4eva
Summary: She wanted comfort and safety. She thought it would be better than how she was feeling. Or was it? SPOILERS 2.16 and on.... C/B/N
1. Chapter 1

Hi there!! I just wanted to let you know how sad I was to see the pics that I shall not name this past week. I know I have to be patient to see CB but I want to see them NOW!!! Anyways, this is my version of what is going to happen before the pics and after. If I get reviews and comments I would adore you and it would motivate me to continue with this story!! Keep the faith CBers… our day WILL come..

Xoxo Maggie

**I do not own Gossip Girl because if I did Chuck and Blair would be in romantic bliss right now!!!**

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The Past is Not the Future

She was confused. Did Nate just call her to help out with Vanessa?? He told her he had seen her talking to a suspicious man when he was across the street from the coffee shop and he had a bad feeling about it. So? She thought. What the hell did this have to do with me? Nate hasn't so much as muttered more than a paragraph to her since they broke up last year. And now all of the sudden he is calling her for help. This was just weird…

"What else is going on Nate? "She asked him " This can't be the only reason you are calling me, because I know you can vent to Dan about this."

She heard a deep breath and began, "Well… there is this thing with my family.. see my grandpa came over last night and took me aside after dinner. He told me that I was now the man of the family and that keeping the Vanderbilt tradition was all on me now. Since my dad has slandered the Archibald name, he was relying on me to not do the same to the Vanderbilt family name. "

"And what does this have to do with me Nate?" Blair answered back suspiciously.

"Well he also said that he heard I had a new girlfriend and that she was from Brooklyn and wasn't from a respectable New York family. He asked me if I thought that was such a good idea considering the future that I had. I didn't understand that because I don't see how Vanessa has anything to do with what my future holds concerning my grandpa, well that was until he continued. The Vanderbilt name also comes with the Vanderbilt privileges. Including what college you are able to get into. Having a backing financially when you are there, and the influence of being able to use the name while at college" Nate continued.

"What does Vanessa have to do with all of this Nate? " Blair asked with a slight annoyance in her voice, considering this is the longest story she feels she has ever heard.

" Well he pretty much told me to ditch Vanessa or my college money, and being able to use the Vanderbilt name would be gone" he finally spit out.

Laughing Blair responded , " You're kidding right? That is the funniest thing I have heard in a while!"

"Blair" Nate said seriously. "Can you please be nice about this for one second? I really like Vanessa and I am a little confused about this."

"What is there to be confused about Nate? It is either Vanessa or being cut off from the Vanderbilt name" she said bluntly.

"Well shit when you say it like that is sounds crappy" he said sadly.

"Well Nate it kind of is. I can't believe your grandfather would do this. He is such a nice man. He was always nice to me at least." She said reminded of times she had spent with Mr. Vanderbilt.

"And that is where you come in" Nate said with a grin on his face.

"This is where I come in how Nate" she was very confused at this point.

"I need you to help me make my grandpa think that I am not dating Vanessa anymore and that you and I are dating now" he laughed slightly when he was saying this.

"YOU WHAT!" Blair yelled back at him almost dropping the phone.

"I need you to.. "

"I know what you said Nate I am just in a state of shock at the moment" she said abruptly.

"Blair I haven't asked anything of you in the last year, and I whole heartedly approved of you and Chuck without saying a word." Blair slightly cringed about that last comment. She didn't really want to think about Chuck at the moment and didn't like the mention of his name because it always reminded her of the last month and what had transpired.

"I just need help for a couple days. That is it I promise." There was a slight desperation in Nate's voice that Blair had always had a hard time resisting.

"Nate, if I do this it is only because I want you to go to college and not have your family disowning you. And it is only for a couple of days and THAT IS IT!" Blair made sure to accentuate the last few words so he would understand clearly.

"Blair! You don't understand how much I am thankful for this." Nate sounded like she just gave him his college on a platter. "Oh another thing, please don't tell anyone we are doing this. I don't want Vanessa to find out and I think it would be for the best if we kept this between us…just less complicated ya know?"

"Makes sense, I don't need gossip girl planting anything new about me. Ever since the Ms. Carr incident I have been trying to stay off the radar" she responded. She also didn't need a certain best friend of a certain someone finding out about this either. She couldn't imagine what would happen then.

"Great! Than can you come over to the house for dinner tomorrow night? I kind of already told them you would be coming over"

"Ugh, Nate can you maybe ask me these things before you make a commitment that I will be there?? " She was annoyed already and it reminded her of old times with Nate.

" Sure no problem, not a problem. Listen, Blair I really appreciate this. " He sounded desperate.

"No worries Nate. I have been a little bored lately so I could use the challenge"

" Well I will see you tomorrow" he said.

"Ya okay Nate, see you then" Blair responded.

She had hung up with Nate and had such a strange feeling. She couldn't place what it was. She had felt it before and it rushed back to her so fast. Comfort, Familiarity, Easy. She remembered now where she was feeling this from. This is what it was like to date Nate Archibald. He always did what she said. He always followed by her rules. He wasn't a threat to her happiness, well except for the Serena incident. But even then she pretty much controlled him out of talking with her. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She had been feeling down lately because of all the things she couldn't control that maybe pretending to be Nate's girlfriend would help her get her confidence back, help get Blair's groove back. Using a movie pun made her giggle a little.

She needed to get that confidence back. She needed the steady feeling of comfort because for the longest time now she hasn't felt this. She had decided to follow her heart. To go outside of her comfort zone and do things differently than she ever would have with Nate. She became spontaneous and willing to trust someone with her true feelings. Reveal her deepest emotions to one person when he needed it the most, when she needed him the most. And what happened? He left, twice. Nate wouldn't do that. She thought to herself. No he wouldn't. And that is why she would go back to before. Before he came into her life, before she fell in love with him, before he broke her. She would go back to her life before Chuck.

The only question would be could she ever go back to her life before Chuck? Yes, she has to. She has to forget that the love of her life didn't want her anymore, and that there was a life without him. A very nice ,comfortable, easy care free life. Somehow when she thought this it didn't sound as good as she thought it would, but she won't think of that now. That can be dealt with later.

Tbc

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Please review!!! I would greatly appreciate it!!! And don't worry there will be CB. I just had to do this segment for anything to make sense!! XOXO


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

What was he doing? He wasn't sure anymore. After Blair told him she was done he was lost. When he was invited to the masquerade night he thought maybe, just maybe someone wanted him. Someone had invited him to this and he was curious and slightly excited that someone had thought of him, well someone other than Blair. Again she came into his mind. She had been doing that a lot lately. The memories were killing him. So to help get her off his mind he found a distraction. Elle. She was beautiful, older and a seductress. He thought she would do the job. That was until she started to tell him about his dad and how she had meant to invite Bart Bass, and not his son. Then she just became another money hungry slut. And he could tell one when he saw one, lord knows he had met enough in his life. What the fuck was he doing??? She wasn't there for his money. Shit she was there when he was a mess, hanging out with other women. She wasn't stupid he knows she knew what he was doing. And still! She was there, holding her hand out welcoming him in supporting him, throwing him parties. And what did he do?? Fuck everything up, seems to be his specialty these days. What was he going to do now? Here he is alone, lonely, and missing something in his life. Something, or should he say someone that was the most important thing to him. Blair. Why can't he tell her how he feels? Why!? He was scared. Well he was done being scared he was done being alone. It was time. It was time he went and got his girl back.

The table erupted with laughter. "Blair it is so good to see you again! I did miss your stories!" James Vanderbilt spit out through his laughter.

"Mr. Vanderbilt thank you! It has been my pleasure!" she laughed back. "Please Blair call me James. Nathanial it is so good of you to invite Blair over for dinner while I am here. I must say I was worried about you, but this confirms you have your head on straight," James Vanderbilt expressed as he patted his grandson on the back.

Blair looked at Nate and he had the biggest grin on his face. She smiled at the handsome expression that her being here gave him. It was so nice to see that smile. Heck it was nice to see any smile. It had been a while since she had seen a man smile in her company, and it felt good. It was warming and nice.

After dinner everyone dispersed to the sitting room. Nate mother and his grandfather had already gone into the room when Nate grabbed Blair's arm. "You are amazing!! I can't believe it. You would think I was the Vanderbilt poster child! I tell you my grandpa seems like he is on cloud 9!"

"Oh Nate please" she smiled "it was nothing, I am just a girl of many talents and getting families to adore me just happens to be one of them."

"Well you have outdone yourself this time I must say" Nate stared at her for a moment after he spoke. "It feels good doesn't it?"

"What feels good Nate?" She knew what he meant, but wanted to hear him say it.

"You know us...this... just feels..."

"Familiar" she finished his sentence.

"Ya... exactly. Familiar and nice" he looked down at her and smiled a little corner of the mouth smile.

"Should we complete tonight's mission?" he said to her while motioning with his arm to enter the sitting room.

"Lets" She went first but when she passed by him she couldn't help but look up and smile.

An hour later she was leaving. Everyone wanted her to stay, but it was a school night and she needed to get home. Well that was what she was going to let them believe anyway. Had this been anywhere else and under other circumstances she would have stayed at least another hour or so. But she knew this was important for Nate, so she left early to make herself look more respectable. And it worked. As she was walking about she heard them tell Nate to walk her out and then to come out to dinner Friday night for Grandpa's last night in town before he retreated to his home in the Bahamas's for the rest of the winter.

Nate closed the door behind him and as Blair was putting on her gloves said, "So Friday night? "

"Ya Friday night" she answered him.

She turned to leave when Nate said "Blair?"

"Ya Nate" she sounded slightly surprised.

"I had fun tonight…in there... with you." He sounded slightly nervous.

" Ya I did too Nate" At that moment she felt spontaneous she walked back up the step and put her hands on Nate's shoulders and gave him a small , slightly lingering kiss on the cheek. When she pulled back away she looked at his face and saw his smile. What a nice smile, what a nice kiss. A very nice, sweet, innocent kiss. Innocent kisses. That is going to be what she will expect with Nate... nice, sweet, innocent time. And she looked forward to it because her life had been anything but that lately.

As she started to walk down towards central park to hail a cab she could have sworn out of the corner of her eye she saw a black limo slowly rounding the corner. "Stop being paranoid Blair" she said to herself. "This is only a figment of your imagination."

"What the fuck?" he said to himself. He did not just see what he thought he did. With his new revelation about his life and the expression of love he was about to tell Blair he became a little nervous. The only thing he could think of that would make him feel more confident is to visit his best friend, Nathanial Archibald. But much to his surprise when his limo pulled up to Nate's cross street he screamed at his driver to stop. At that moment he saw the woman he pined after and let slip through his fingers talking with his best friend on the stoop of Nate's house. No not just talking...holy shit. She just leaned into him for a kiss on the cheek. He has to be dreaming because they haven't really spoken unless I am around. What is going on? He wasn't going to let this one go.

Feeling as if someone was following her Blair had almost gotten to the park when she saw a limo pull up beside her. She turned to look and heard "looking for a ride? " Holy Shit.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Chuck. What are you doing here? You nearly scared me to death! What are you doing here! "Blair yelled at him.

"Well Blair, I was on my way to Nate's house and just happened to stumble into you. Speaking of which, what brings you to these neck of the woods at this time of night? "He asked her curiously. Not letting her know what he just saw yet. He wanted to test her to see if she would tell him or not. Then he would proceed from there.

"In this neck of the woods? I …um... I was dropping off the designs for my mother's new line to her assistant. She is still on her honeymoon and I... you know what Chuck I don't really owe you and explanation why I am over here." She said sternly.

She gave him her best shut the hell up look and hoped he wouldn't dig in any further as to why she was there. She promised Nate she wouldn't say anything and she was going to stick to that. Plus the last person she wanted to think that she was dating Nate again would be Chuck. The last time her and Nate started dating again it nearly broke Chuck and she didn't really want to hurt him like that again.

Wait? What was she saying she didn't care if she hurt Chuck again. This was Chuck the guy who she told that she was done with... she was done with him right? Right. But seeing him there asking her for a ride again did make her heart pump slightly faster. She was always immediately on the defense with him and she didn't know why. She was more so on the defense tonight because immediately she noticed how l good he looked. Like really good. He looked as if he has finally gotten a good night sleep and maybe stayed away from the scotch for a while. Oh who was she kidding he looked hot. Plain and simple hot. Jesus! All she has seen is his head and she is already beginning to feel like goo. Ugh... defense Blair defense was all she could think to herself.

"Ah your mother assistant huh? Pretty nice area for her assistant to live in" he retorted suspiciously.

"Well she pays her too much I guess. Listen Chuck this has been fun, but I really need to get home. School night yah know? So if you don't mind I am going to catch a cab at the corner." She started to walk away from the limo, but the damn thing must have had a freaking magnet on it because when she started walking the limo followed slightly behind.

"Blaaaaaiiiirrrrrr….." Chuck spoke low and long when he said her name. It sent chills over her body and gave her goose bumps all over. She stopped and turned again.

"Chuuuucccckkkkkk…. "She said this the exact way he did but with a slightly more annoyed tone.

"Please get in the limo. I promise I won't bite. AND before you say anything I know you are capable of catching your own cab, but I think you would be more comfortable in my limo" at that comment he shot her a slightly come hither stare, as if he was thinking about something. Oh she knew what he was thinking about. By comfortable he was referring to the first time they were together. Great he is thinking about sex which in turn is having her think about sex. How does he do that!! Dammit!

"Chuck. So help me if you even scoot over to my side of the limo I will get out of that limo so fast..."

"Blair, just get in the limo. No funny stuff I promise." He said calmly and honestly.

"Fine, but no talking "she started walking toward the limo. Chuck opened the door and moved to the other side.

She was beautiful this close. She had a respectable Blair outfit on and smelled of vanilla. Tonight she was wearing gray tights with black flats and he skirt came to right above her knee. I was just long enough that he could see it from under her red coat. Interesting he thought. She still looked beautiful don't get him wrong, but her outfit almost seemed like one she would wear to school. More reserved and classic, it wasn't exactly something she would have worn on a date. What the hell was she doing at Nathanial's? She had worn more provocative outfits on dates he had known that, so what wasn't she dressed up now? He couldn't stop thinking about that. Curiosity was starting to get the best of him, but he decided to keep this one to himself for a while. It took all he had not to ask her about it. It was starting to eat at him, but he was trying to be good and prove to her that he had been trying to change. It was at this moment he decided that he wouldn't tell her that he loved her just yet, but instead he would start to prove it to her.

Blair suddenly was feeling Chuck's eyes on her and it was starting to make her feel slightly uncomfortable. She hated when he stared at her. She hated it because of how it made her feel. A warm tingling sensation started to happen and she all of the sudden felt like her cheeks were rising in temperature and no doubt in red color also. He made her feel like she was always the only one he would be looking at. Dammit Chuck stop it!

"Blair?" Chuck asked her.

"Hmmm?" she sounded relaxed and didn't want to make eye contact with him.

"About the last time we saw each other. I wanted to apologize. For what I did." He sounded guilty.

"Don't you mean what Jack did?" she asked annoyed.

"No, I mean what I did. You were right. No one forced me to go out with Jack and flake on you, which was a huge mistake I see now and you were right to say the things you did."

"I was? "She must have sounded shocked.

"Yes you were right. You were there for me and I just rubbed your face in it. I was an idiot and I messed up big time. I wanted to let you know that I moved back in with the Vanderwoodsons. Lily and I had a talk and she is taking over Bass industries until I am 18 then she will turn the company over to me. And I plan to be completely ready for it." He sounded so confident.

"I think that might be slightly hard for you Chuck. After all morality clauses aren't exactly something that you are good at not breaking you know. This would mean no women all the time and the drinking would have to stop. I think we both know that isn't something you are prepared to do or could do," she almost laughed as she said it and then realized how bitchy it was.

"Huh. Well I guess I can see where that came from" he was looking down at his clasped hands.

"You guess where you can see where that came from Chuck? The last time I saw you, you were doing drugs off your father's desk and you had naked women all over you! And it wasn't even noon!!!" she spoke with a stern voice to him this time.

"Yes I know Blair thank you for reminding me. It wasn't exactly one of my best moments."

"You can say that again." She looked away out the window and was wondering what route this driver was taking because this ride was taking too long.

"Listen Blair, I deserve all of this I know. But I wanted to tell you something. I am trying to change. "He looked over to her and she was still looking out the window of the limo.

"I am trying to change for you. Actually I am trying to change for us. I want to be better for us. For the future. I miss you, and these weeks without you have been hell. I can't stop thinking about you and well I am miserable. And this is strange to me because if you ever told me I would be pining over a woman I would laugh at you. I never thought I could be like this. My problem is that I had been lying to myself. Lying that I could forget about you, forget about what you said to me. That you believed in me. You are the only one Blair who has showed me love and I threw it back in your face. What a fucking idiot I have been. If I could take back how I treated you after my father died I would. I just didn't think that anyone was there to love me anymore and when you said that you loved me I panicked…I didn't…"

"Stop it!" Blair yelled at him and finally turned to make eye contact with him. He noticed something sparkling on her face and when they pulled up to Blair's building the street light shone on her face and he realized what it was. Tears. She was crying. Crap, he really did it now.

"Stop telling me these things! You have no right!!! We are done remember?? REMEMBER! I told you to leave me alone!" she was so angry at him at this moment.

"Blair, please. I know you are still upset with me, but I had to tell you how I felt." He gave her the look he had always given her at this moment. His eyes looked like a puppies eyes when they do something wrong. Always the same look he gave her.

"Really chuck? Because when I told you how I felt you shunned me, you ran away from me and then you came back and then you left AGAIN! I will not do this to myself again, and you cannot tell me these things ever again!"

"Why can't I tell you how I feel Blair? I thought you would like that I was opening up to you... I thought..."

"You thought wrong Chuck you thought wrong!!! Don't tell me these things Chuck! Just don't!!

"Blair what is going on? Why are you being like this? I know what I have done, but why won't you let me tell you how I feel? "

She looked him dead in the eye and said" Because you leave Chuck. Every time we have come close to anything you leave. You leave me. And I am tired of being left behind Chuck. So tired. I just want something easy right now, and you and I are not easy."

At that moment she opened the limo door and she threw her legs around to get out of the limo when she felt a hand lightly wrap around her wrist. It was chuck and he was looking at her with his big beautiful brown eyes and he softly spoke to her, "I will never leave you Blair, I couldn't you mean too much to me."

She found herself staring into his eyes as she watched him move towards her. She was frozen, she knew she should move and not let him get this close to her, but he smelt of aftershave and man. More specifically his smell, the smell of Chuck. Oh god she had missed that smell. She had a shirt of his in her closet that every now and then she would pull out his shirt and sleep in it. She would pull up the collar and slowly inhale and god she missed him.

But at this moment the smell and Chuck was getting closer. She then felt the back of his knuckles slowing pet her from her ear to her chin and she closed her eyes, taking everything in. His smell his touch was driving her over the wall. When she felt his lips press hers so softly, she felt a slight moan of happiness escape her mouth. "Chuck" she whispered to him so quietly, and still with her eyes closed.

"Mmmm??" he answered back. He was still taking in the beautiful girl that was right in front of him.

"I have to go" as she opened her eyes she had an awakening of what just happened. Oh Jesus. She did not just kiss Chuck!! She moved away from him swiftly and left him with a look of shock.

"Blair!" She heard him yell to him as she walked even faster to the front door of the building. The doorman was there and opened the doors for her and she was home free. She turned as she got into the elevator and when she looked up he was still there standing outside of the limo. When she made eye contact with him he waved and smiled. A gorgeous Chuck smile and a wonderful wave. A wave of I will see you soon. Oh god she was in trouble. Big big big trouble. And that trouble started with a capital C.


	4. Chapter 4

Oh my goodness I am terrible!! So sorry I haven't updated in forever! I had to get motivated and it was hard, but I am back! lol! This is a longer chapter than the other ones and I hope you enjoy it!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own gossip girl. If I did the blip would never happen and CB would be having wall smex all over the place :)

Please review!!!

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Chapter 4

Momentary lapse in judgment. That is what she was telling herself happened with Chuck the other night. He must have put some sort of spell on her because there is no way that she would ever let Chuck kiss her again. Ugh! How could she be so weak! It's his damn charm. How could she succumb to the Bass charm again!! Well that would be the last time she put herself in that situation, because she had a new plan for her life right now. She checked her makeup in the mirror and did a slight twirl to show off the dress she had bought just for this evening. It was black halter dress that had a belt at the waste and pleats flowed down to her knees just like a dress Ginger Rogers would have worn in one of her movies with Fred Astaire, the kind that flied high when you turned. She loved the way it made her feel and it was completely appropriate for the dinner tonight. They were going to Le Cirque at the Palace. She had been there before and knew what the dress attire was like, and knew that this dress was tasteful enough not to seem presumptuous to the Vanderbilt's, but it would also gets Nate's blood boiling. She paired the dress with silver heels and a silver purse. But what necklace to wear? She knew exactly what necklace to wear, but she wouldn't even dare. But it would look perfect with this dress!! NO! She couldn't and she didn't. Instead she opted for no necklace at all and felt bare, like she was missing something. Oh well she didn't care. She grabbed her coat and was elevator bound.

When she was going down the elevator she was feeling slightly nervous. Why? She wondered. She hadn't been nervous to see the family before. Oh right… it is because she had kissed Nate the last time she had seen him. How could she forget? Chuck. That is the reason. She had been so busy the last couple of days concentrating on what had happened between her and Chuck in the limo she hadn't even thought about what had happened with Nate. She walked out the front doors to find Nate standing in front of the town car. She took a deep breath as he looked stunning. He had on a Black suit with a gray collared shirt and a silver tie. His hair was done in the normal swoosh to the side and he looked so handsome. Of course they matched. He had called her earlier to see what she wanted him to wear. Just like old times.

"You look amazing" he told her while he went in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"You don't look so bad either Archibald" he smiled a little coy smile at him.

As Nate was opening the door he was explaining where everyone else was, "they are already at the restaurant. My mom told me to come and get you by myself. I think she thought it would be more romantic or something."

"That was nice of her" Blair responded with slight hesitance.

"Well, I mean, it isn't like I thought It was going to be romantic or anything" he sounded nervous.

"Nate, its fine. Don't worry about it" she flashed him one of her famous smiles.

"Okay great"

They sat in silence the rest of the way to the restaurant. Both of them thinking of someone else, but here because of the favor Nate had asked of Blair. Or was that it anymore. Neither of them really knew. Dinner was great and everything went as planned. Nate figured his grandfather would do what he promised after this. He was so thoroughly impressed with Blair and her plans for her life, that there was no way Nate was going to be cut off now. After dinner the family and Blair made their way out of the restaurant.

"Nate? I completely forgot we only brought the Lincoln. Can you and Blair wait here and once our driver takes us home he can come back for you?" Anne sounded slightly embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it Mrs. Archibald. Just have your driver go to my house. Nate can walk me home. It is a beautiful night out anyways," Blair looked at Nate and smiled.

"Well that sounds great. It is a nice night for a stroll. Thank you Blair. It has been wonderful as always to see you and Nathanial together. "

"Thank you Mrs. Archibald." She responded with her good girl tone.

Chuck had decided that being in the suite wasn't exactly what he had wanted to do this Friday night. He couldn't get in touch with Nathanial to see what he was doing, so he figured he was with Brooklyn doing whatever they do in Brooklyn. So he went down to the Palace Bar. He hadn't been staying at The Vanderwoodsens tonight because Lily was hosting some women of the Upper East side fundraiser this evening and there was no way he was sticking around for that. So back to the suite he goes. At least for 1 night. So imagine Chucks surprise when he is sitting at the Palace Bar and he see's the Archibald family coming out from dinner. Ah there is Nathanial he thought. Chuck got up and started to walk over to the area where they were standing until he saw a beautiful, familiar brunette follow behind them, Blair. And then there was Nathanial putting on her coat for her. He hid behind a velvet curtain that separated the restaurant from the bar. Walk her home? What! What is going on here!! Are Blair and Nate dating again? This couldn't be happening. He was with Vanessa! And Blair, going back to Nate again? He felt a huge pain in his heart. This wasn't happening.

"You know we could have just taken a cab Nate" Blair smiled and looked at him.

"Well it is a nice night and I wanted to walk, and walking with a beauty like you I couldn't resist"

Blair smiled at him as they approached the park. Nate stopped and Blair kept going for a few feet and when she turned around Nate began to talk.

"Blair, listen. Tonight was amazing. The look on my families faces when you are there you light up the room, and… I miss that …. I miss you, us a lot."

"Nate, I thought going into this I was just helping you out, but I feel like you have helped me out, made me realize how easy things were with us, and I miss that too Nate"

Their eyes met and Nate reached a hand to her face and they kissed. One of the movie stars kisses that everyone oo's and ahh's about because both of the parties involved were beautiful. They parted and Nate smiled at Blair and she smiled back. The corners of her smile were not as high as his though because Nate's kiss didn't hold a torch to the kiss she had in a limo two nights before.

Chuck couldn't take his eyes off what he was looking at. When he saw Nate and Blair walking out of the Hotel he wanted to see where they were going. He hadn't called his limo, because he wanted to be discreet about following them. He had already felt like and idiot about it, but he couldn't help himself. He needed to see where they were going. And then he saw them, kissing. Like the old Nate and Blair, like old times, like times before….. Chuck and Blair. No no no no no. This isn't happening. He was going through hard times; he was going to be over them soon. She can't move on this fast and to Nate? NATE! How could Nate do this to him! He knows he loves Blair he knows what has been going on, so he sees this as an opportune time to swoop in and take her from… he stopped there. She wasn't his, he knew that. In fact the reason that he isn't with her is because of him. Shit, why does he have to start thinking rationally now damnit? He decided not to cause a scene and to just walk away.

The walk home was nice. After their kiss Nate took Blair's hand and they walked like this the entire way. They talked of past times, and things that had happened this year. They realized they hadn't spoken much at all. Nate spoke of soccer and how Humphrey decided to start playing too, Blair giggled at that. She couldn't really see Dan playing soccer and the image was amusing to her. He laughed too and said Dan wasn't so bad he just had to get the lingo down. As they walked up to the building the town car Nate's mother had sent had just pulled up again.

"Let me take you up Blair" he said

"That's alright Nate, you go home. Tonight was fun and nice," she smiled.

Nate leaned in and kissed her the innocent sweet peck kiss that she was used to.

"Goodnight Blair" he said with his eyes closed.

"Goodnight Nate" her eyes were open and she started to walk away.

Blair entered the elevator and as soon as the doors closed she leaned against the back wall and put her head back. She looked up and saw her reflection in the elevators ceiling.

"What are you doing Blair?" She said aloud.

She knew what she was doing. Chuck wanted her but he didn't want to be there for her so she was moving on. Going back to what was familiar, what was right.

The elevator dinged and she entered the checkered marble floor foyer to her family's penthouse. As she entered Dorota came up taking her coat.

"Ms. Blair, Mr. Chuck is here to see you," she moved her eye brows in the direction of the living room and walked towards the kitchen and out of view.

"Chuck, what are you doing here? "She sounded slightly annoyed.

She noticed he was sitting on the couch in front of the piano, and there was only the small end table lamp that was on. It illuminated his face and brought out the beautiful features, but something was wrong, he looked, sad.

"Chuck? What is going on... why are you here? "She asked again annunciating her words in case he didn't hear her.

"I didn't know what I was going to say to you when I came here tonight. "he began

"And you still don't??" she responded

"Blair, please let me say this without any interruptions because I don't think I will be able to if you do" he was very serious.

It made her nervous that he was talking like this. He has been serious with her before but this was, well different.

"Before my father died I felt like I had to have his attention, his love somehow. The women, the booze was more of my way of getting attention. Victrola and my business proposals were more my way of getting my father to love me. Before he died he was very disappointed in me because of something that I had revealed to Eric and the Vanderwoodsons. It caused a lot of tension in our pseudo family, which is why Bart and Lily weren't talking for a while. I tried to redeem myself to him by letting him know Lily was getting a little too up close and personal with Humphrey's dad at the Snowflake Ball. You see because of that call and my actions my dad was at the wrong place and the wrong time. And is not here anymore."

"Chuck please, you now this isn't your…"

"Blair, please…."

"Sorry"

"When he died I realized that all I had done was try and get his love and attention and how bad I was at doing both. I realize now that I was an idiot about it and that my dad was the one who needed to make the effort with me. I always was available to him, but he was never available for me. But I still was a fuck up. And I was mostly with you."

Blair looked down at her hands. Since chuck had started she had sat down next to him keeping a safe distance not to give him any ideas. She listened while he continued,

"When you told me you were done with me, I felt excruciating pain in my chest. Like someone had stabbed me in the heart. I didn't know what to do with myself I went home and sulked. I drank; I employed the company of numerous women. I did what I know how to do, because a broken heart was not something I knew or knew how to deal with. Nothing was working. I couldn't, can't, get you out of my head, my heart. "

"Chuck, I…." she tried to reply before he cut her off.

"And then tonight I was at the Palace Bar, and I saw you with Nate. You looked…happy with him. Not the reaction that I cause you to have. I mean we have had our moments and they were great, but all I have done is cause you grief. I was so angry when I saw you two, so jealous. I wanted to walk up there and ask what the fuck was going on. But I didn't. Instead I followed you on your walk with him,"

"You did what!?! Chuck I can't believe you!" she was so confused with her emotions at this moment that she didn't know what tone she was using, but she was pretty sure it was stern with a backing of pissed in it.

"I know, I know, you don't have to call me pathetic I already feel like it. But when I saw you kiss, I realized something. You just want to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Things haven't been great for you this year either. Serena and your friendship has been strained, you dad leaving last year and not seeing him as much as you want to, and of course the icing on the cake, Me. Me, the one who abused our friendship, our great friendship, for what? Competition? Who can say it first? Well you won that one Blair, and I am the one who lost. "

"What are you trying to say Chuck?" she wanted to know what this is all about.

He made direct eye contact with her when he said the next phrase, "I want you to know that if Nate makes you happy and makes you smile like you did tonight, I won't stand in the way. I haven't made you smile like that in a while Blair and I can't do that to you anymore. I thought about fighting for I am still debating my decision not to, but I came to the decision that the best way for you to know how much I love you is to let you go. Let you be happy."

Silence. She stared at him. Did she hear him correctly? Did he say he loved her? He was getting up now and reaching for his coat. She couldn't move. It was like she was made of stone and could barely talk.

"Wwwwhhhhh…" she stuttered out..

"Please, don't say anything. I wanted to let you know, Nate is a good man Blair. He has the best intentions, but I can't say I am not disappointed that this is happening with my best friend, but at least I know who he is and know where he lives if he ever messes with my girl…I mean you."

He was standing looking down at her. He took her chin in his hand and looked deep in her eyes.

"You will always be my girl Blair. I have never known love until I met you. I love you. I just wanted you to know that. "

Chuck started to walk towards the elevator, and halfway there he didn't turn around, but he peeked over his shoulder.

"Goodbye Blair, I'll see you at school."

And then he was gone.

tbc

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thank you for reading!! I really appriciate it!! please review and let me know how you liked this chapter!!

xoxo Maggie


	5. Chapter 5

**Yes I know I just posted a chapter last night, but I was motivated to post this one today!! Plus I am really excited about where this story is going!! I am thinking the next chapter will be the last!! Boo!! I know this is a short story, but don't worry we will all love the ending!! **

**Thank you sooo much to those who reviewed and read! I love you both! This story has been my healing for some of the spoilers we have gotten lately and I hope they are helping you too!! This chapter is mostly Blair, but don't get discouraged, Chuckles will be back...**

**thank you again!**

**xoxo Maggie**

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Chapter 5

It was Monday again and after everything that happened over the weekend it was a wonder that things felt so normal she thought. Serena was finally back from her vacation with Eric and her grandmother. They had been skiing in the Alps for the past week and it was driving Blair nuts that she could talk to her about what had happened. About what Chuck had finally said. I love you. She kept hearing it over and over again. She also kept replaying how Chuck told her to be with Nate. What was that about? Be with Nate. She didn't know why but this was bugging her. Nate had come by and walked her to school they entered the courtyard when she saw a gust of blonde waves fly at her and surround her in no time.

" Eeeeek!!! B!! I missed you!" Serena squealed.

"Oh S you don't even know how much I missed you!" They were screaming at each other like gitty little school girls.

"uhum… Blair? "Nate tried to interject.

"Oh Nate hey, didn't even see you there" Serena said with slight sarcasm.

"I'll talk to you later Nate" Blair said as her and Serena started walking towards Constance together.

"What was that all about? He has barely talked to you the last year and now he was competing with me for your attention? "Serena sounded a slightly annoyed and very curious.

" Ya well a lot has happened since you have been gone I will meet you on the steps at lunch and fill you in okay?"

When lunchtime rolled around Blair and Serena proceeded to the steps and Blair carefully filled Serena in on the past weeks events.

"Wow, wow, wow. So you are telling me that Chuck said I love you and then he pretty much gave you his blessing to date Nate?"

"Yes"

"Huh, are you sure I was only gone a week? Because Chuck couldn't have matured that much since I have been gone!" she was seriously shocked now.

"Well I guess he had some sort of epiphany when he saw Nate and I kissing in the park."

"WAIT A MINUTE! YOU KISSED NATE!"

"Serena! Keep your voice down!"

"I'm sorry B, but that shocked the hell out of me. What are you doing??? Pretending to be his girlfriend is one thing, but kissing Nate is a totally different thing in itself!" She sounded almost angry with her.

"Well it just happened and it isn't like I knew Chuck was there or..."

"Or what B? You wouldn't have kissed him?"

"Hey! What is with the attitude? See what happens when you leave me here alone? "

"Oh please, you can clearly handle yourself when I am away and don't go blaming this whole fiasco on my being gone."

"I know, I know you are right, I am just really confused right now. " She was wringing her hands together and she knew this was a bad habit of letting people know that she was frustrated.

"About what? Chuck or Nate? Geeze I really feel like I have had this conversation with you before. "Serena said in her best sarcastic tone.

"Listen, Serena I think I am going to give Nate another chance and I don't want to hear anything from you about it."

Serena brought a hand to her mouth and made a zipper action over her lips.

"You won't hear a word about it from me... or I guess Chuck for that matter"

Blair glared back at Serena as she was raising her hands in the air in the I didn't do anything stance.

The rest of the day went as usual classes were dull as always and Blair kept thinking how much her senioritis has kicked in during the last couple of weeks and she couldn't wait to graduate and have her space and freedom. This year had been hard on her. She almost didn't get into Yale which would have been hell, because this is all she had wanted since she was a little girl. She couldn't blame anyone but herself though. She knew that now. It is just when people get in her way she doesn't ask them to move she makes sure they get the hell out of the way and never come back. Well this time it back fired big time on her. And somehow she survived it. Well it was a little too close for comfort and she decided that keeping her hands out of the fire for the remainder of the school year might be a good idea.

The bell rang for the end of the day and Blair was walking to her locker room when she stopped in her tracks. There he was in the hallway walking towards her. There goes the stone figure Blair again. He was getting closer and she still couldn't move. He stopped right in front of her.

"Blair? Are you alright? "Chuck asked her.

"Yyyyyeeeessss… I am fffine ." She managed to get out

"Well okay, just wanted to make sure you look a little, I don't know pale, like you just saw a ghost."

"You love me…" she whispered out

"What?" he asked with a questioned look on his face.

"You bug me" she thought on her feet.

"Well that's nice Waldorf. Good to see things have returned to normal between us. Archibald is out front in you are looking for him." And with that comment he walked away down the hall and left Blair with a dropped jaw.

Two weeks had gone by and Nate and Blair had already fallen back into their old ways again. Since she ran into Chuck in the hallways the two weeks before she had barely seen him, and she was noticing herself more and more looking for him. Why wasn't he around? When she asked Serena she just said he was at school and she had seen him at home. So Blair concluded that he was just avoiding them. Which makes sense because she probably wouldn't want to see her either.

That Friday night Nate's cousin was coming into town with his fiancé and they were all going to dinner. She had dressed to the nines wanting to impress Nate's family again. She had done such a good job with Nate's grandfather she thought his cousin would be a synch since he was only 21 and closer to their age and she had already met him, well it was when she was 13 so hopefully he hadn't changed much. Nate introduced Blair again when they arrive their. Nate's cousin Tripp was wearing a suit just like Nate and Blair couldn't get over how much they resembled each other at this moment, both handsome fair skinned gentlemen. He also introduced her to Tripp's fiancée, Maureen. The thing with Maureen that kind of surprised Blair is she reminded Blair a lot of herself. Maureen was wearing a very reserved but elegant dress with a beautiful handmade silk headband that Blair couldn't believe she had missed that at the Bergdorf's the last time she was there. Well she did have a lot on her mind lately, so she wouldn't be too hard on herself.

Dinner was great. The two women had sat next to each other as the same with the two men. It was almost eerie how well everyone was getting along. Blair asked how they had known each other and gotten engaged and Tripp tipped his head towards Maureen to tell the story,

"Well we have known each other since we were 12. We went to the same school in Connecticut, and started dating when we were in 7th grade. He swept me off my feet next to the drinking fountain." She gave him a sideways glance and smiled.

"And you have been together the whole time? That is amazing" she was filled with hope for her and Nate that it could work even though there was a minor bump.

"Uh no, we did break up our senior year in High School. Maureen started to date this _rebel_ at our school. It was very uncharacteristic of her. "Tripp had answered this time and he continued.

"But according to Maureen he understood her, whatever that means, "Tripp took a sip of his wine.

"Anyways the guy couldn't commit, so my beautiful Maureen became mine again" he looked over to her and reached a hand up to slightly pet her face.

"She should have just stayed with me in the first place, it would have saved her all that time with him" he finished and starting talking to Nate again.

Blair looked at Maureen's face and she could swear there was something awry. She didn't look right. She didn't look... Blair froze. She knew that look, she was the queen of that look. It was the look you give your partner when you don't want them to know that you are in love with someone else. She couldn't believe it. Could Maureen still be in love with this rebel that Tripp had spoke of? She had noticed that Maureen was a little fidgety when Tripp was retelling this story, and she didn't make eye contact with anyone, but Blair hadn't put the two together until now. The boys went back to talking and Blair lightly touched Maureen's arm,

"Are you alright Maureen? "She asked quietly to be discreet.

"Yes, of course I am Blair. What would have you say that? "

"Oh I don't know you just seemed to be in your own world there for a moment."

"Yes I guess I was, a wonderful world a long time ago," she looked Blair straight in the eyes and then quickly looked down and away.

Blair could have sworn she saw the beginnings of tears in the corners of her eyes, but they disappeared as fast as the look on Maureen's face had. She turned back to Tripp and began playing the attentive bride to be.

After dinner everyone gave their goodbyes. Blair had hugged Tripp and Maureen and said she hoped to see them again soon and that it was very nice to meet them. As soon as the limo pulled up Nate and Blair got in. Blair had been staring out the window when she felt Nate's hand touch hers.

"Blair you were amazing in there," he whispered in her ear.

She snapped her head around so fast it made Nate scoot back a little on the seat.

"What did you say? " She was shocked

"I said that you were amazing in there" and he started to move closer to her again, and just as he was about to hold her hand again she pulled away.

Her head was flooded with memories of that wonderful night she shared with him in the back of a limo when he told her the same thing " you were amazing in there" all the hairs on her arm started to raise as she thought about that night, about that moment. About the moment she shared with him her love, her man. Chuck was her love, not Nate. It had just hit her. What was she doing here?

"What am I doing here? "She said aloud this time.

"Blair? What do you mean what are you doing here? "Nate answered baffled at what seemed to be happening at this moment.

Blair looked Nate in the eyes, "what are we doing Nate? Here, right now, with each other?"

"Well I was trying to kiss you and tell you what a great time I had tonight," he responded.

"Nate, I can't be here."

"In the limo?" Nate was confused she wasn't surprised. She wasn't making a whole lot of sense to herself at the moment.

"Listen Nate, everything has been great and you have been a real gentleman but I don't want to be with you anymore. I refuse to let myself become a Maureen." With that she yelled up to the driver to stop and he pulled over. She got out of the limo in a hurry.

"Blair! Where are you going?" Nate yelled to her.

By this time she had started to run, yes Blair Waldorf was running in her heels down the streets of Manhattan she couldn't believe it either.

"I am going to find my rebel!" she yelled back.

When she turned back around she was running with the biggest smile on her face that she think she had ever had. And she was going to show it to him, show that he can make her smile.

tbc

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**oh!!! i hoped you loved as much as I did!! I have been thinking about how they would break amicably but of course I wanted Blair to chose Chuck over Nate! Don't we all!! Hope you liked it please let me know what you think!!**

xoxo


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